I talk to my car when it needs gas by saying "don't worry mummy's gonna feed you now"
I have a pair of wireless earphones. Sometimes when I don't want to talk, I put my headphones on and act like I can't hear.
I count the hours of sleep I'm going to get before I go to sleep.
I use and shift my plates around in my cupboard so the bottom ones don't feel left out.
I keep a headband in my pocket just in case I get challenged to a dance battle.
When I was little I used to lick our cat because I thought she missed her cat family.
The only way I eat M&M's is by separating them by color and eating them from my least favorite color to my favorite.
I buy surgical gloves only for binge-eating potato chips.
I brush my my toes with a toothbrush with body wash on it in the shower.
I often look at houses and buildings and rate if they are good bunkers for a zombie apocalypse.
Whenever I eat Doritos I check to see which side has more 'flavor' and that's the side that gets to meet my tongue.
When somebody cuts me off when I'm telling a story, I turn to the wall and finish telling it so I feel accomplished.
I usually consult my dog before making any huge life decisions by asking her to blink for "yes" or not blink for "no".
When people on tv wave, I always wave back to them, even though I know they can't see me.
I always thank Siri after she performs a task so she'll befriend me if the robot apocalypse ever happens.
People think I am rocking out to tunes & dancing in my car.  I am really just animating old arguments I won & celebrating.
When I mix my dogs wet and dry food together, I taste it to make sure it's okay.
When I add paper to my printer, I have to move any paper left in the printer to the top to give them a chance to get used.
I always carry two pennies with me so if someone asks me for my two cents, I'll be ready.
I have my earphones on with no music so I can listen to other people's conversations.
I like to make unexpected turns when driving just so I can hear the soothing voice of my GPS say "recalculating".
Sometimes when I'm cooking I talk out loud to a fake camera and pretend that I have my own cooking show.
When I don't like someone, I make an avatar of them on the Sims and make them live a hard life.